I ponder the root of the pain in my chest I ponder whether I think that I know me best I’d be fonder of the body I live in, if it didn’t always beg me to rest I’d be fonder of the world that I live in, if it didn’t feel so much like a test I question my mouth when I speak I wonder if everything’s bleak I try to breathe deep as I try to interrogate my favorite day of the week As I try to decide which feelings are new, and which ones are antique And I finally take a step back, To see what I’ve done with my time. But I only see scribbles. I only see scribbles. I only see scribbles. And none of it rhymes In the drawers of my mind, remnants of mountains I’ve hiked Do I want to be kind? Or do I just want to be liked? For every thing I choose to say, a hundred more are on their way For every thing that’s on its way, a thousand more for another day I’ll sort through the layers, but they tend to collapse at my touch I’ll sort through the rubble, surely there can’t be too much I have the tools to dig; I learned to breathe the dirt I can’t be bothered to come up for air, On days when I don’t care if breathing hurts Smothered by my own stare Mothered by an instinct to care Surrounded by dots, that beg to be collected I’ll try to get to the bottom of just one pair, Then I’ll be surprised when I get stuck there Surrounded by dots, that beg to be connected Till the dots disappear and they move and they fill up my eyes Until I have to lie down with only myself to advise When I finally take a step back, To see what I’ve done with my time. I only see scribbles. I only see scribbles. I only see scribbles. And none of it rhymes You’d think from rock bottom, at least you’d be forced to look up. But I stare at my feet on the cold rocky ground, And I don’t make a sound while the wheels in my head turn around. I’d like to think that each breakthrough will loosen things up. What if all of the pieces of the walls, that used to confine Are even more slippery to climb I finally take a step back, To see what I’ve done with my time. But I only see scribbles. I only see scribbles. I only see scribbles. And none of it rhymes I only see scribbles. I only see scribbles. I only see scribbles. And none of it rhymes Chords: bit.ly/3kezGA6

Have you ever been blown away? By something you see every day? And you don’t expect it but you don’t correct it 'Cause you want that feeling to stay You can’t force feeling caught up in awe You can’t force seeing beauty in a flaw So when it comes let it, don’t delete, rewrite, or edit Don’t refuse to let your frozen heart thaw Little things can carry you through all your biggest feelings When you find yourself resistant to looking at anything but your ceiling Let a TV show be what makes you care to know about what happens next In being alive, let a cup of tea be what makes you feel anything other than vexed The other day I was walking alone at night And I felt something other than the logical fright This freezing cold breeze cuts right through to the bone Sharing it with strangers makes me feel less alone There are people I can’t help but like Every once in a while, my soul levels will spike Who knows if it’s mutual, that seems unusual I don’t know why I never say something when someone feels right And tonight, I may waste some more time And tomorrow I might do the same My hope is that soon I’ll stop trying to learn the rules And start actually playing this game Little things can carry you through all your biggest feelings When you find yourself resistant to looking at anything but your ceiling Let a TV show be what makes you care to know about what happens next In being alive, let a cup of tea be what makes you feel anything other than vexed Maybe I need to put my mask on first I’m still becoming, being alone isn’t the worst But healthier me, and I think she’d agree Isn’t something that can be rehearsed I’d like to live life knowing that I have flown I’m starting to think I can’t do that alone Because I don’t want to, and I don’t wish to daunt you All I’m asking for is more wind in my bones

I watched four five year old boys have a heated discussion over scooters Apparently the green one’s the best I listened to them argue and I almost had to step in But then one of them spotted a butterfly They saw it and forgot the rest Set aside their differences in pursuit of a glimpse of something beautiful Each picked up a scooter didn’t even pay attention to the colors anymore I admire those four Who even cares how you make the journey If you can catch up to the thing that you want? They were so sure that you should try the journey If you see what you want Sometimes I wonder what they would’ve done if the butterfly had let them catch up Would they have just stared? Or would they have ripped off its wings? I highly doubt it but do they even know what they would’ve done if they had gotten there? Set aside their differences in pursuit of a glimpse of something beautiful Each picked up a scooter didn’t even pay attention to the colors anymore I admire those four Who even cares how you make the journey If you can catch up to the thing you want? They were so sure that you should try the journey If you see what you want No hesitation, no second thoughts Just running on instinct, forgot they fought, two seconds ago Who even cares how you make the journey If you can catch up to the thing that you want? They were so sure that you should try the journey If you see what you want Some things don’t seem, to matter quite as much When something bigger and better stops by And lets you see it, just for a second Like that butterfly

The back porch is softer than my bed 'Cause it hasn’t seen the times I’ve cried I keep ‘em all there filed away in my head I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again On bad days it’s like a poison, it destroys and Stains every place I’ve ever called my home And I just wanna run away I wanna run toward something new I wanna run away I wanna run, I wanna run, I wanna run But how do I know when I’m done? How do I know, how do I know How do I know when to run Wherever I go, I always know All that will follow, but give me a chance To simply set today apart from tomorrow Will I ever stop stopping to wonder If I savor lightning far too quick, Burn through what’s bright, before I’ve even heard the thunder And I just wanna run away I wanna run toward something new I wanna run away I wanna run, I wanna run, I wanna run But how do I know when I’m done How do I know How do I know, how do I know when to run I bought a cake, it’s no one’s birthday And now my mouth is blue I feel the sugar coursing through I didn’t know what else to do But I’ll trade coffee for water It’ll last about a week I’ll rinse two new tattoos For fifteen minutes at the kitchen sink And I will find a way to make it back to where I’ve been before And I will try today ‘ to open stead of closing every door And I will find a way ‘ to tell myself ‘ that I’ve been there before And I will try today ‘ to open stead of closing every door

I must admit The night sky’s like a puzzle And I think that my piece fits I’ve gotta say I just can’t imagine Belonging to the day But maybe that’s okay There are times when life moves a bit too fast And it’s harder to make moments last And the days just blur together It feels like the blur will go on for forever There are times when food doesn’t taste as good And it’s harder to feel understood And the colors aren’t as bright And the easiest part of the day is the night When everything is a bit too much And the world is a bit too bright There’s always the night There’s always the night There’s always the night When the dark and quiet is not enough And again you feel alright There’s always the light There’s always the light There’s always the light I used to hate going to bed I used to always fight the dread I wonder what that girl would say If I told her I’m not sure that I still prefer the day She’d say, "I see hope in your eyes Do you think hope is fear in disguise? Do you still write lullabies In your head at night, for the butterflies?” She’d say, “Do you think you’ve grown wise? Do you think this is new, are you just full of lies? Do you still write lullabies In the dead of night, for the butterflies?” When everything is a bit too much And the world is a bit too bright There’s always the night There’s always the night There’s always the night When the dark and quiet is not enough And again you feel alright There’s always the light There’s always the light There’s always the light She’d say, “So what it’s a demon now So what that it’s blue? Always gotta be something with you It started with glue.” Remember the day, that we used to say "The glue is what holds you together my dear Without it you’re free but there’s also the fear You’ll fall apart quickly and lose everything that you are The glue’s a familiar misery mystery All that I want is for it to be hist’ry but I don’t know how because that’s what has got me this far Cover it with bitter glitter Dye it colors, don’t be a quitter We’ll make something beautiful yet …out of this sticky mess.” Make a metaphor, if you don’t have the words Turn your feelings into glue or sky or birds Just follow what makes the most sense It’s as good as any other defense Nothing feels quite right, nothing lasts too long But the cycle does give ample inspiration for songs When everything is a bit too much And the world is a bit too bright There’s always the night There’s always the night There’s always the night When the dark and quiet is not enough And again you feel alright There’s always the light There’s always the light There’s always the light

I feel like a housewife in a loveless marriage with myself My inner child is a handful, my bookshelf It is neglected, all the stories left unread And God I used to live so many lives… Talking to the ghosts on my walk home To the notes in my cellphone To myself, and I remind her that I like to be alone What kind of friend would I even be? What kind of person would I wanna meet? Am I really happy on my own? Do I really wanna throw away my phone I wonder if it’s easier for me to let myself care When the other person doesn’t really wanna be there? ‘Cause I get scared I try so damn hard to make everything my fault, don’t I? Don’t I? I try so damn hard to make everything my fault, but I lie. Do I? Maybe it’s all in my head, but the internet says ADHD hurts couples, for bisexuals the risk of abuse doubles My remaining instincts left with you, but am I lying through my teeth Am I lying through my teeth? ‘Cause I’m haunted by my shifting approach withdrawal Am I ever gonna really wanna fall? Am I ever gonna really wanna fall? And I’m at my happiest when I’m lonely as hell I miss voices but my choice is to hide in the silence It’s too goddamn loud in my head when I don’t leave my bed But I need the peace and I can’t take any other kinda noise I try so damn hard to make everything my fault, don’t I? Don’t I? I try so damn hard to make everything my fault, but I lie. Do I? History is bound to be repeated and I’m terrified ‘Cause when I said I never wanna try again I think I lied I think I I think I lied I think I I think I lied