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Painting the Bathroom Green

by Mia Stegner

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  • Draw a bird. Name ten things you’re looking forward to. Write about who or what or where is home to you... Scribbled Pleas is a book of lyrics by singer-songwriter Mia Stegner, filled with unique prompts designed to inspire creative expression and self-reflection. A storyteller at heart, author Mia Stegner views songwriting as an avenue to ask questions, seek answers, and ponder both personal and collective pieces of the human experience. Learn more at www.MiaStegner.com

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    Review on Goodreads: www.goodreads.com/book/show/58364083-scribbled-pleas
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1.
Give me your attention please Listen to me sing Listen to me sing Listen to me sing Give me your attention please Listen to me sing Listen to me sing Listen to me sing Turn your eyes and let me take a little bit of space (space) I don’t know just yet what it is that I want to say Turn your ear and let me take a little bit of sound (sound) Might feel like I’m right nearby even when I’m not around Give me your attention please Listen to me sing Listen to me sing Listen to me sing Give me your attention please Listen to me sing Listen to me sing Listen to me sing Turn your watch and let me take a little bit of time (time) Hope that I’m not wasting yours, then again it’s not a crime Turn your heart and let me take a little bit of rhythm (rhythm) Only got so many beats and still I ask please will you give them? Just give me your attention please Listen to me sing Listen to me sing Listen to me sing Just give me your attention please Listen to me sing Listen to me sing Listen to me sing Why does it feel wrong to ask for? I’m afraid that I’m a bore Why does it feel wrong to ask for? To adore and be adored Give me your attention please Listen to me sing Listen to me sing Listen to me sing Just give me your attention please Listen to me sing Listen to me sing Listen to me sing
2.
Face Value 04:06
Is it safe to take your words in as they are? Will my mind shut up so I can just relax? Can I fight the urge to count and qualify our tracks? I just wanna walk for a while Is it safe to savor every single moment? My mind and heart, they both say safety first But I’m wonderin' now, which poison would be worse I just wanna let myself smile Can I take your face value at face value? And what would take my mind off all the fear? Promise you don’t hate me and I’ll promise you the same Even then I know I’d wonder if I’m in the clear It’s odd, at times I think I feel your mind (sure they flutter) That’s not to say that you’re an open book (there’re things they wonder) But with other people the simple feeling’s hard to find (but still) That you’re as real as I Maybe that’s what life is supposed to feel like (butterflies once violent) Wish it could be this way with everyone I meet (go absolutely silent) Do you ever feel like you’re in someone else’s story (stuck) Stuck in a screenplay beat? Can I take your face value at face value? And what would take my mind off all the fear? Promise you don’t hate me and I’ll promise you the same Even then I know I’d wonder if I’m in the clear Is the answer in your eyes? Is it worth the stupid stewing? Is screwing up all that I’m doing? I know the answer’s no (I know the answer’s no) Not sure why it feels so easy My suspicion makes me queasy Won’t let my mind turn friend to foe I’d like to take your face value at face value So what would take my mind off all the fear? Promise you don’t hate me and I’ll promise you the same Even then I know I’d wonder if I’m in the clear Am I in the clear? I’d like to take your face value at face value So what would take my mind off all the fear? Promise you don’t hate me and I’ll promise you the same Even then I know I’d wonder if I’m in the clear Are we in the clear?
3.
If smiley faces fade away And joy is hard to find today Remember everything will be okay If sky is blue but you see gray And coping methods start to fray Maybe you can take the day to play Painting the bathroom green And every color can be seen In between Blue and yellow, if you look closely Painting the bathroom green In my last month as a teen In between Adult and child, time moves slowly My brother says it kinda looks like a Monet I think I agree, at least today I’ve made something beautiful Wish I could always feel more green than grey Painting the bathroom green And every color can be seen In between Blue and yellow, if you look closely Painting the bathroom green In my last month as a teen In between Adult and child, time moves slowly My mother says it’s pretty coming up the stairs I think I agree, from where I stand on my chair It’s something beautiful Wish I could always have more green Maybe I should start a garden, wish it wouldn’t snow Need something to take my mind off places I can’t go I can’t go Painting the bathroom green Painting the bathroom green Painting the bathroom, painting the bathroom green Painting the bathroom, painting the bathroom green Painting the bathroom green And every color can be seen In between Blue and yellow, if you look closely
4.
Nothing is required I don’t care what they say If I’m not inspired Then I won’t do it today Everything is optional I’ll make you a vow Everything is optional At least for now So stop the pestering, and questioning, requesting and investing in me I will only let you down, I know I haven’t yet but we’ll see If I keep this up then I’ll burn out Wish I could skip forward and see how we all turn out Nothing is required I don’t care what they say If I’m not inspired Then I won’t do it today Everything is optional I’ll make you a vow Everything is optional At least for now What would the dinosaurs think if they knew I was this stressed? Did they feel the same way, or would they think I’m a hot mess? If I keep this up then I’ll burn out Wish I could skip forward and see how we all turn out Nothing is required I don’t care what you say If I’m not inspired Then I won’t do it today Everything is optional I’ll make you a vow Everything is optional At least for now Nothing is required I don’t care what they say If I’m not inspired Then I won’t do it today Everything is optional I’ll make you a vow Everything is optional At least for now So stop the pestering, and questioning, requesting and investing in me I will only let you down, I know I haven’t yet but we’ll see If I keep this up then I’ll burn out Wish I could skip forward and see how we all turn out Nothing is required I don’t care what they say If I’m not inspired Then I won’t do it today Everything is optional I’ll make you a vow Everything is optional At least for now What would the dinosaurs think if they knew I was this stressed? Did they feel the same way, or would they think I’m a hot mess? If I keep this up then I’ll burn out Wish I could skip forward and see how we all turn out Nothing is required I don’t care what you say If I’m not inspired Then I won’t do it today Everything is optional I’ll make you a vow Everything is optional At least for now
5.
I’ve done all the things that I am supposed to do The things they say will help when you are blue I took a shower and I did my hair I took deep breaths and medicated Pet my dog and meditated I just gotta wait this out And you say this too shall pass But this time it feels different, this time I’m not so sure You remind me it never lasts But I think this time it’s different, how can you be sure? I’ve done all the things that I am supposed to do The things they say will help when you are blue I reached out to a friend I had a snack I went outside I watched a show I held some ice but now I know I just gotta wait this out And you say this too shall pass But this time it feels different, this time I’m not so sure You remind me it never lasts But I think this time it’s different, how can you be sure? And you say this too shall pass But this time it feels different, this time I’m not so sure You remind me it never lasts But I think this time it’s different, how can you be sure? How can you be sure? How can you be sure? How can you be sure? How can you be sure? How can you be sure? How can you be sure? How can you be sure? I just gotta wait this out
6.
Maybe I’ll start a gratitude journal Why does it sound so hard? Know that I’m lucky, I should be happy Why does it sound so hard? I think I feel guilty that I can’t always feel The things I ought to feel I think that I wonder if it means that I’m not real The things I ought to feel Ooh Ooh Maybe I’ll start a gratitude journal Come up with three things each day How soon would I run out, and why do I doubt That the project would last through May? I think I feel guilty that I can’t always feel The things I want to feel I think that I wonder if that means that they’re not real The things I want to feel Maybe I’ll start a happiness journal For things that just make me smile In essence the same, just different in name But maybe that could go on for a while Ooh Ooh Rethinking gratitude as not an obligation But as whatever feeling you wanna feel more often Like when the world finally comes into focus Or maybe when it starts to soften If you can’t internalize it, maybe you can still externalize it Cling to fleeting moments, or at least the ones that cling to You You
7.
Bath Time 03:36
I stayed in the bath until the water wasn’t hot anymore I could’ve moved but I was too busy staring at the floor Something about the water Makes me feel like more than a sister or a daughter Water Makes me feel like more Everything will be okay Maybe it’s only true during bath time Everything will be okay Maybe it has been true for the last time Off my phone and all alone Maybe it’s only true during bath time Sense of peace and stress release Maybe it has been true for the last time I stayed in the bath until the water wasn’t hot anymore I could’ve moved but I was too busy staring at the drawer Something about the water Makes me feel like a duck or fish or an otter Water Makes me feel like more Everything will be okay Maybe it’s only true during bath time Everything will be okay Maybe it has been true for the last time Off my phone and all alone Maybe it’s only true during bath time Sense of peace and stress release Maybe it has been true for the last time I stayed in the bath until the water wasn’t hot anymore I could’ve moved but I was too busy staring at the door Something about the water Makes me feel like more than a sister or a daughter Water Makes me feel like more Everything will be okay Maybe it’s only true during bath time Everything will be okay Maybe it has been true for the last time Off my phone and all alone Maybe it’s only true during bath time Sense of peace and stress release Maybe it has been true for the last time
8.
Growing up I liked to think about myself as if I were a character like in the books I read Tried to figure out the things that made me me, to see if I would love this character or want her dead And if I ever wasn’t quite compelled That’s when I’d fall apart and start to weld Ever since birth I’ve tried to find ways To measure my worth Measure my worth Ever since birth I’ve tried to find ways To measure my worth At times I thought I’d try to make my life feel like a movie, now I think I’ll frame it as a show The actors make mistakes, and maybe there’s commercial breaks, but at least there are lots of episodes More than one beginning, middle, and end At least one character a friend Ever since birth I’ve tried to find ways To measure my worth Measure my worth Ever since birth I’ve tried to find ways To measure my worth As long as I can make one thing I’m proud of that will be enough, so I had better keep on making stuff If I don’t do one thing today then I’m a piece of trash, it could be better, so could I, I’ve always known I’ll never reach the sky I have to get good grades and earn some praise and actually find a way to maybe make some friends this time for real Gotta do my chores and homework, gotta smile at the world, it doesn’t matter how I feel Ever since birth I’ve tried to find ways To measure my worth Measure my worth Ever since birth I’ve tried to find ways To measure my worth Now it’s time to measure my worth by how I measure my worth and how I’ve done so all along Be kind to myself and put my worries on a shelf or else I’m doing this all wrong Something’s not quite right with how you smile, you should jog a daily mile, change your hair and change your voice and change your skin and become strong Something’s wrong with how you laugh, sometimes I hate myself on your behalf, in case you don’t dislike me because you’d be wrong Sorry to write another sad song Wish I had more wisdom to share, I guess don’t measure your worth Maybe the point is we’re all worthless anyway? But that’s not what I think, we all matter every day Have I ruined this song with this weird verse that doesn’t rhyme well? I guess this is the bridge and I can do whatever I want I kind of like it, but I’ll probably hate it once I share it Ever since birth I’ve tried to find ways To measure my worth Measure my worth Ever since birth I’ve tried to find ways To measure my worth
9.
The Journey 03:25
I watched four five year old boys have a heated discussion over scooters Apparently the green one’s the best I listened to them argue and I almost had to step in But then one of them spotted a butterfly They saw it and forgot the rest Set aside their differences in pursuit of a glimpse of something beautiful Each picked up a scooter didn’t even pay attention to the colors anymore I admire those four Who even cares how you make the journey If you can catch up to the thing that you want? They were so sure that you should try the journey If you see what you want Sometimes I wonder what they would’ve done if the butterfly had let them catch up Would they have just stared? Or would they have ripped off its wings? I highly doubt it but do they even know what they would’ve done if they had gotten there? Set aside their differences in pursuit of a glimpse of something beautiful Each picked up a scooter didn’t even pay attention to the colors anymore I admire those four Who even cares how you make the journey If you can catch up to the thing you want? They were so sure that you should try the journey If you see what you want No hesitation, no second thoughts Just running on instinct, forgot they fought, two seconds ago Who even cares how you make the journey If you can catch up to the thing that you want? They were so sure that you should try the journey If you see what you want Some things don’t seem, to matter quite as much When something bigger and better stops by And lets you see it, just for a second Like that butterfly
10.
It might be hard to explain just why But do you think that we could try Switching bodies Maybe this is weird to say But I would like to have a day Where I could look in the mirror and see your eyes Oh, but I can see you And you can see me This bird is making me feel So real and so seen I don’t know whether to hide or run But I do know flying sounds kind of fun How can I ever leave the gardens If with this one I will never quite feel done Oh, I can see you And you can see me Who’s winning the contest?
 How long will the moment be? Do you think he knows he’s stunning The intensity could send you running (running) If you pay attention (pay attention) Why’s he staring, is he hungry, am I funny Look n now we’ve got this cheerful sort of tension Oh, I can see you And you can see me This bird has managed to set Some piece of me free My butterflies, they’re known to be so violent In that moment, most of them went absolutely silent Pull me from my shadow without even trying It’s not something most humans can do But you’re not a human are you? I came here for the fresh air, stayed for you I wonder how long you will stay here too My feathered friend I wish we could stay in touch I think I want another tattoo Oh, I can see you And you can see me Who’s winning the contest? How long… Oh, I can see you And you can see me Who’s winning the contest? How long will the moment be?
11.
Crave 03:04
Losing my patience and losing my mind At a time when I need both in order to really be fine And I know it’s not new having no place to go But it feels more than ever I’m trapped and I’m Wondering what do you do when the things that changed you Are all trapped in a landscape and time zone so far Coffee shops and the few friendly faces you crave What a time to be trying to find who you are How do you cling without being clingy? Wish I could see how a text finds a face How do you stay in touch, without giving or taking too much? Does everyone feel like their life is a race? Losing my patience and losing my mind At a time when I need both in order to really be fine And I know it’s not new having no place to go But it feels more than ever I’m trapped and I’m Wondering what do you do when the things that changed you Are all trapped in a landscape and time zone so far Coffee shops and the few friendly faces you crave What a time to be trying to find who you are How do you know if you’re doing okay? Why do you keep all your feelings at bay? How do you find the sun, when you barely feel a single ray? I know it would help to take things day by day Losing my patience and losing my mind At a time when I need both in order to really be fine And I know it’s not new having no place to go But it feels more than ever I’m trapped and I’m Wondering what do you do when the things that changed you Are all trapped in a landscape and time zone so far Coffee shops and the few friendly faces you crave What a time to be trying to find who you are Losing my patience and losing my mind At a time when I need both in order to really be fine And I know it’s not new having no place to go But it feels more than ever I’m trapped and I’m Wondering what do you do when the things that changed you Are all trapped in a landscape and time zone so far Coffee shops and the few friendly faces you crave
12.
Caught myself envying the trees again today So strong, so still, so quiet, so alone but they don’t care With the squirrels living on their shoulders, and their toes always in the ground Letting the ones around them breathe, even making more air Must be nice, can’t deny that I am angry How can I be so mad when they did nothing wrong Have you thought about trees? I want you to look at a single leaf in the breeze Watch how it dances See, how it doesn’t have a single worry Damn every single one of those pretty green pieces of the world Caught myself envying the trees again today So alive, so wise, so big, they know their purpose With the birds picking them to make homes with, and their arms always stretched out wide Pretty no matter the season, always getting to look at the sky Must be nice, can’t deny that I am angry How can I be so mad when they did nothing wrong Get chopped and burned and see if I care I do I swear I swear Get chopped and burned and see if I care I do I swear I swear Have you thought about trees? I want you to look at a single leaf in the breeze Watch how it dances See, how it doesn’t have a single worry Damn every single one of those pretty green pieces of the world Have you thought about trees? I want you to look at a single leaf in the breeze Watch how it dances See, how it doesn’t have a single worry Damn every single one of those pretty green pieces of the world
13.
Went for a walk through the park Didn’t come back until after dark I wanted to watch the sunset over the water Please lift me onto your shoulders I wanna see the world, but I don’t wanna be in charge of where to step I just wanna watch the water Can I stay inside my dreams for just a little while Can I stay inside my dreams, just until I get to smile Can I stay inside my dreams for just a little while Can I stay inside my dreams, just until I get to smile Another time Tips of my fingers are numb Getting a bump on my thumb It’s the only thing that I know how to do today I think that the most that I’ve said this week Happened while I was asleep and I wish I remembered more Because I don’t want to talk today Can you stay inside my dreams for just a little while Can you stay inside my dreams, just until I get to smile Can you stay inside my dreams for just a little while Can you stay inside my dreams, just until we get to smile Another time And there may be more days when it takes me Til 7 pm to get out of my bed When I’d rather be stuck in a dream world Than inside of my head Because my mind is kinder to me in the night At least after I’ve drifted As soon as I’m in control again The magic spell is lifted She says You can stay inside my dreams for just a little while You can stay inside my dreams, just until we get to smile You can stay inside my dreams for just a little while You can stay inside my dreams, just until we get to smile Another time

about

Written over the summer of 2020, this album showcases my experience trying to find connection in isolation, and peace in boredom. I relentlessly search for reasons to be grateful despite feeling stuck in a brain and in a world that feels broken. I beg for attention, I wonder if it's safe to treasure a newfound friendship, and I paint a bathroom, all the while expressing frustration, gratitude, boredom, nostalgia, fear, and comfort.

Videos: www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOoqyqmkb7p6UdC8szsBALbuab7cHrxYr
Merch: www.redbubble.com/people/miastegner/shop?artistUserName=MiaStegner&collections=1524041&iaCode=all-departments&sortOrder=relevant

credits

released August 1, 2020

guitar on "Face Value" by Christian Campos
piano on "Painting the Bathroom Green," "Nothing is Required," "Wait This Out," and "Measure My Worth" by Anastasia Bragina
violin on "Wait This Out," "Gratitude Journal," "Duck Encounter" and "Crave" by Lucia La Rezza
bass on "Wait This Out," "Gratitude Journal," and "Crave" by Akil Augustus
drums on "Wait This Out," "Gratitude Journal," and "Crave" by Deion Allen
"Bath Time" co-produced by John Stegner
piano on "Duck Encounter" by Artur Lenivenko
strings and keyboard on "Envy the Trees" by Andrej Prole

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